1 | Confidence Starts Within with Austin King
Written By Harrison King
Season 1: Let’s Talk About Life with Harrison King
From Having No Self-Confidence to Becoming a Public Speaking Coach
With Guest Austin King
powered by Sounder
What is the key to overcoming self-doubt?
Confidence: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
The definition makes it seems so simple, so easily attainable. But as you know, that’s not always the case. Self-doubt and self-esteem issues can stem from many things in our lives, but we all have one thing in common - when it comes to gaining confidence, the journey is not an easy one. If you struggle with finding the courage to push through and believe in yourself, you’re not alone! It’s a very common feeling, and in Episode 1 of the Let’s Talk About Life podcast, Harrison King sits down with his grandfather, Austin King to discuss everything about confidence, from a man who used to have no confidence himself!
About Austin King
Austin King has lived a full life. He was a radio operator, surface weather observer, public speaker, and has lived all the way up in the frozen tundra of the arctic. Growing up, Austin struggled with self-confidence and limiting beliefs, but as he learned and grew he turned his life around and is now a confident, experienced public speaker, and friend to all. He loves deep, intellectual, conversations and expanding his knowledge of the universe.
“The attitude is the gold nugget of success”
Topics discussed in this episode:
Self-limiting beliefs
Desire to overcome the fear of public speaking
The Christopher Leadership Course in public speaking
Expressing yourself, letting the butterflies out
Leadership and public speaking
Body language
We communicate mostly through our body language
Letting your true self come out
Affirmations
Breathing
Breathing down into your diaphragm
Gives you more confidence/feel more confident
Confidence is a type of energy
Importance of positive stress
Helps us get focused on what we want
Fear is created in our minds: Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real
We create our own fear
How we respond to information and the media
Brain waves/frequencies
Beta
Alpha
Theta
Delta
Self-talk and how your thoughts change your brain
The connection between our subconscious mind and our bodies
Influencing others through language
Self-esteem vs self-image vs self-concept
Hear your own voice saying positive reinforcement
Developing new habits through patterns
How do you find support in others when you don’t have it around you?
Self-inventory - what do you like/dislike about yourself
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me”
Being responsible for your own self-care
Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals
Maintain a positive mental attitude
Transcript:
You're now listening to the let's talk about life, podcast brought to you by don't settle with your host Harson King. What's up everybody welcome to the let's talk about life podcast, my nameis Harrison King and I'm super excited to be doing this today. This is very special day. It's the first episode of this podcast and before we started, I just wanted to give you a little little background little INFO on what this podcast is about, what the aim of it is. It's brought you my don't settle it's a platform and brand that is really focused on personal growth and providing information and resources to anybody of all of all ages and experiences in in life and just providing them with some resources to help better their life, help to better your life. So that's really what this podcast is about as well. We're just we're just talking with people about about that bout life we're just chatting and I'm going to learn along with you, and I just want to want to share the conversations that I'm going to have with some people. Sometimes it will be just me relaying some information to you, but most of the time we're going to aim to to have a little chat with somebody and hopefully be able to record it and share with you and and just to get get talking about some issues that we don't talk about in everyday normal. You know dayday life with somebody see somebody at the store you're, just saying hi, you know how's the weather, ow yea, how you doing and everybody you know you're classic. Oh I'm doing well. How are you that we want? We want this to be more than that. I want to talk about the bigger things in life and that's and that's what this is about. So if that's something you're interested in then let's talk about life. This first episode I was, I was very grateful to get to have a chat with my grandfather, Austin King. He and I talked about confidence, something that well, as you will hear he struggled with, but it's overcome and- and I just wanted to have a chat about that- sharesome information from him- and hopefully you guys can get some insight if you're, maybe struggling with confidence or you just want to try to be more confident. Anything like that. But really the whole point of this podcast is just to help your life get a little bit better. You you want to improve your life and and your situation or whatever, and maybe just just get some new perspectives. It doesn't have to be something. You agree with we're going to try to talk about everything, a broad range of topics and hopefully keep it entertaining and interesting to you, and I don't want to ramble on anymore when to just get right to the right to the chat. So, let's, let's just top right and I'm here with Austin King, I'm very privilege to call this man. My grandfather actually Everferrd, O himmens poppy, because we're from wel you're from New Foundland Al right and that's a as a common thing. I think yes, anyway, one of the genuinely one of the most incredible people. I think I've ever met in my entire life, one of the only people. I would also the first wor that comes to mind when I think of you should have describe you as wise, which is, I don't think, is a very common thing, and I want you to know that too, but I'm just very happy to be able to have a conversation with you and share it with some other people, and he was a radio operator. I was CRRAC started out as a radio operator and the surface weather observer there. You go up in the Ukon, all kinds of things and then guy went on to be. You did lots of public speaking, yes, hairdresser, a womne point not by choice, but the thing Wer Gare to talk about today is confidence, something that I know you struggle with. I believe as a young as a young boy, but now one of you're, probably one of the one of the people that I would say, is as the most confidence ar the people. I know which is a very big change, so I guess we're going to chat a little bit about that. Maybe you can share some things, people how to how to improve, but I guess, let's start with little background. I guess on who you are and and kind of your story. Well, I was, as you say, born in Newfoundland and raised back in the E S, and it was an interesting time because I really never felt very confident in school. I was always considered the shy person, the one who didn't have the self confidence they. I wasn't self assured I did well academically, but I struggled with relationships HM. I didn't have the confidence to speak in public to speak, to a room of adults when I was a teenager, so I did not make eye contact. I contact was scary for me I always felt inferior M and when I was in grade nine, I heard people talking about how tough Algebra and geometry and trigonometry was, and I believe them because I tended to believe what other people were saying as opposed to believing in myself and and that became a challenge. For me, I struggled in my last year of high school had to rewrite some papers because of my own self limiting beliefs, and I didn't understand at that time that it was self limiting. I didn't think I was good enough. I didn't. I wasn't smart enough. The good Lord created me, but he didn't he must have had some leftovers when he made her. So that was my thinking I was yeah. I struggled with Self Confidence And oh well it but times improved as I went along because I didn't want to settle for that kind of life where I was constantly in fear and the fear was gripping and it was affecting me affecting my body affecting my mind and I didn't understand where it was coming from or what I could do. I thought I will always be like this right interesting. So then, like I said, you've had a dramatic shift from that point in your life. To being I mean the other day, you just said to me. He said tossed me up on. You know the news or whatever like it it doesn't it doesn't matter now. How did you was there something specific that causes caused, that switch or, or was it just? I would assume you know progression of steps and things that you an learn. o kind of word. Is it where in your life, did it start to change, or did you start to realize? I guess you know what that you wanted to change. Well, I knew that if I continued on the path I was on, I would never be fulfilled that my life would never be purposeful. The way it should be hm, so there was a desire deep down, and the desire is a word that I may come back to later on because it's significant there was a desire, a burning desire, and I didn't want to tell anybody that I wanted to overcome my fear, especially of public speaking hm and then after a few years of working and getting married having a family there was an opportunity came along a course called. The Christopher leadership course was a course in public speaking, and it was a ten week course. I took it and I changed my life. HMM. How old are you at that point? Well, that's that's a good question. I was about thirty thirty, five, still a significant amount of time, while you were trying to do with nifingithe amount of time in a dark place right did you did you find any improvement between? You know that time as a child and then to when you took this course was running provonor. You were pretty pretty stagnant and you I was improving gradually and, I would say, intrementally, but not significantly, Il Se. There would be little things here and there I' volunteered when we lived in city and Alberta, I volunteered to be a cub leader, and part of that was my desire to make an ingremental change in my life to put something back into the community right. So I began to think more about what can I do for others more than and benefit myself in the process? That was a step right. I guess the super interesactually didn't know all of that. This course that you took. I guess what was what were the big things that you learned he said Change Your Life. So what what were these? Let's talk a little bit about that, and hopefully you can relate the information that you've learned, so anybody else is maybe in a situation, so they don't have to you. Can Shore your story, so people don't have to wait for thirty five years exactly to well good question. One thing that struck me with this course was that it was very similar to Dale Carnegie. I had taken an introductory course to Dale Carnegie, but couldn't afford at the time and my employer wasn't in agreement to pay for my my Dail Carnegie Course, and the instructors for this Christopher course were all volunteers, so the cost was quite significantly less and in that course it. It is a course in leadership and in public speaking and it has of a Christian dimension. So it talks about better to light one candle than to curse the darkness and that's, of course, from Saint Christopher. That was one of his motos and there wasn't. This was not a conversion episode where you're trying to be converted to Christianity or some other religion, but there was a conversion. For me, there was a conversion to believing in myself and one of the things that taught me was that I can express myself more significantly more demonstratively by letting something from the inside come out. It helped get the butterflies flying in formation instead of fighting with each other right side. So it really helped that fear m. What kind of specific things did they discuss that helped you like? What kind of thing? U thing, letting it out like? What dare you? What are you able to? Let out, I guess, Noug sense to help you get get ea, it's a good one. Every week it was a ten week course, every single week before I went, I would feel this tension inside my solar plex. In my I just tens up almost feel like I want to go to the bathroom get sick and then I get in the door and we start the class and it was so supportive people believed in me. People believed in me more than I believed in myself, and that made a difference. Then they started teaching things to be more expressive. For example, they started the evening each course with a warmup and warmup, just like an athlete warms up before an event. Our warmupps were nursery rhymes that we acted out hm and the whole idea was to get us to express to use our hands use. Our body use the body language and I found out later that there was a study in Ucla back in the es where it was determined that seven percent of what we say, the words that we speak will be significant in getting that message across thirty. Eight percent will come from the tone, the tone of our voice, how we express it, but fifty five per cent comes from the body. Language Ansu came ware with your body, so it was wort. That's and now that study has been questioned down through the years and they say it's not absolutely it's not seven percent. That's not thirty right UN fifty five, but the significant thing of that is that body language tells more. For example, if I were to sit here and say, I'm absolutely thrilled to be here Harrison or, if I say Harrison, I'm absolutely thrilled to be here right. There is a difference and that's one of the things the course taught was how to express and let ourselves come out and let the true person come out yeah IUS that Hav to do with with people like other people, viewers or just people you're talking to like subconsciously having that, like you're taking in more of your body language than what you're saying sometimes like is that is that more obviously, it's more significant but d. You know why. Well, I think it's important because the whole all three expressions, the words, the tone and the body language make up the total message, and if the body language is not consistent, then the audience will look at it and say: Well, that's what he's saying, but does he really believe it? Oh Yeah? So I think that is really where that falls. I think one of the challenges that comes a we're talking about more so public speaking but youhave'n, just conversations and Stoll told Bot, but I guess to take it a little bit of a turn which I'm sure again, you have struggles with just day to day life when you're, not just talking in front of a group of people or but you're kind of feeling, not super. You know your self esteems Lov Yoyour confidence is low to those things you're talking about like body, language and and things like that, will they help you ind just day to daylife like just how you carry yourself yeah. I guess, what's been your experience, Ot that or what do you think precisely? I went on just to go a little further. I went on and took many courses after that which we may get into. I don't know in this interview or if there is another one. What I found is that my even standing and walking standing in front of a mirror and looking at myself and saying words like I, like myself M, I believe in myself, I'm a good person. These affirmations were significant right and my body then responded Accordingrok, so you walk Taller. You walk with more confidence, you go into a room or you even sit at your desk if you're alone and you breathe in and you breathe deeper and that's one of the things that they taught us in this Christorecourse was breathing is significant. It's significant for life, let's Ay! We all greewith we're in trouble right, but breathing, not just shallow breathing, where we breeze down here right into our lungs but breathe down into our diafrend and, like I learned recently, some singers actually breathed down as if they're breathing into heir the back intou their spine right so that you can get more residence. You have more power and it gives you more confidence when you're speaking so you physically, like you, feel more confident, not just that you're like you're potraying, the body language, but your body like your anatomy, is feeling more like you feel more supported, right and more more full, and that makes that makes a lot of sense. Actually, I think every cell in your body responds for response to this kind of thing, because, let's face it, everything we know now from quantum physics, everything is energy right. Everything is energy and the energy in ourselves, the energy in our bodies, the energy around us, the energy that we create is important and with our thoughts the same same thing so then look at how do i? How do I get my thoughts onto a positive path as opposed to looking at myself negatively and saying? Well, I'm not gooding. He right confidence is, in that sense, a lack of the wrong type of energy. It's true right. It is true, I was going to say a lack of energy, but it's not because the same to be the same amount of energy, but it's just the wrong type. It's the wrong type of energy and what's the Youknow, it's easy to Li guess know know these things like this. Is You know what you need to do to to change it or you know I need to put in the wrong the right type of energy or the right thoughts and things. But how do you? How do you make that switch if you want to do it like you said you want to do it, but it's hard to take that. You know first step to try to start thinking like that or to get into focusing on these things, even though you know them to actually put them into action. How did you find it? What what made you kind of take that step or take that leap into into just going for it, because I'm sure you were scared to start. You know doing these things. It is important, I believe, to have a certain amount of not necessarily fear but stress or anxiety, about doing something so that our bodies start to say. Oh something's, coming there's a change coming, there's a change coming. Is it a change for good or is a change for something that's negative and what it does it? It helps us get focused on what we want as opposed to accepting the way things are the way we don't want it to be HM. So I like the idea of having a certain amount of stress. No, how do you change that amount of stress because it goes from from because I agree hundred percent like especially with you know as being a musician? Yes, you don't want to be completely like no, no Adrenalin or butterflies or anything, because it's actually going to impect your performance. You want a little bit of it because it shows a you care right and it. It makes your absolute and you put in that energy, but if you have too much, then it can be like debilitating, like you, don't want to do so. What's the shift, you know what I mean like from having too much of this fear to just just the right amount. It's recognizing that fear is created in our minds, hm it's created in our minds and if we take the word, fear F E, a R as an acronym. Let's look at it this way, fantasized experiences appearing real ha ha fantasized experiences. That's woner appearing real! So it's in our mind. It's a mindset, change! We have to change our mind and say I don't want to continue doing what I'm doing, because Azeinstein pointed out very clearly. If we continue to do what we've always done, yeah, you can expect different results yeah. So it's important to have that desire. Here we go with desire again to focus on what we really want and realize that I'm creating the fear there is nobody out there creating fear. I think that's a big thing. Nobody can make. You feel inferior, as I think Eleanor Rosveld said nobody can make. You feel inferior without your permission sum and Yeah Yeah Wow, the the the fear thing is, is a big thing because I think well, especially in the Times you know that we're living actually, I was just- I was just listening to another podcast yesterday about this and and they're talking about fear and and that, like the fear like you're saying, like the fear, comes from with him and I think a lot of people, just in general like to put things you no put the ownus on somebody else or something else, so it's not their their deal and it's very easy to especially right now to be scared of. You know the virus going on and all of this Tuff, but but there's no like like this virus going around, doesn't doesn't have like its own. Like fear, generate like it's, not it's not meant to do that. You R we've put this thing on it that it's scary we've decided, but there's actually like four more scary things out there like, like the I r just learned that, like the regular flute, kills more people than this virus is, but we're not scared of the regular foodless sat flew to the same extent. It's because we've decided that this is scary and and that I think, that's a big ship, especially even een. For me and my life figuring our determining that you know the fear, isn't something. That's just annate in something you, you label it, and you put it I in yourself and that I think that probably can be a big shift, like I'm sure, once you kind of realized or started to realize that you were putting this fear into yourself that nobody else was that's so true, yeah, that's so true, but you'R you're, leading into a very significant area, and that is what about all the information that's coming at US coming in from the media, from people in authority, whether it's government, health or other areas, and we are being told there are certain things that we must do seriously for our own good health and our safety right. So we can't just throw it all out for sure throughout the baby, with the bathwash. However, how we respond to it is our choice. That's right! That's our choice! Taking that information and and making a conscious choice, ot it or doing something ofanalyzing it. I guess in a way, instead of just passively accepting and that's the truth. Well, that's so true, because then we get into the wonderful thing about our brain. Our brain is dis divided. We have the what they call thes cerebral CORTEX, left, brain right, brain leugt, hemosphere, right hemosphere and the left hemisphere, of course, is the LINEOR. What we call the linear side, thinking, side and and the right brain is the creative side. Your music would probably come from right right, brain the creative side. Well, okay, so weve got these two sides and we're getting. This information will there's a connection between the two that I didn't realize for many years, there's a little fibrous band of nerves in the shape of a sea that ties both left and right hemispheres together, and it is really the significant thing that helps us in responding to all this information. That's coming in yeah, it's very interesting because there was a study done back in the S in Bulgaria by a doctor Lasanov, and he found out that there are four levels that the brain operates: it for levels of frequencies, the Beta first one, which is when we're wide awake operates it. I think it's fourteen cycles per second and then there's the Alpho, which operates from eight to to thirteen somewhere in there and then the theatre which operates from five to seven cycles per second. I believe, that's what it in like that yea and then from a half a cycle to four is four cycles per. Second: Is the Delta and that's when we're sound, Asleep Bull? What he found was that the Alpha, which is relaxation when we're going to relax date and the theta, where we're just about ready to fall asleep those two areas if we play music, especially classical music and get ourselves into that state that are learning and our thinking changes. Why is that? And that that, because we are not influenced as much by what's going on when we're awake, we're more influence to all this information, that's coming in from various sources, HM Youare, open and we'rewe become more receptive to believing and and actually programming our own minds to believe in ourselves. So it comes right back to some of the earlier questions you ask right, so I was fascinated by that, because that, in itself helped me in moving from this sense of gripping, fear to being more confident to being more selfassured wow. We talked about. You talked about something about looking in the mirror and no things you're saying to yourself, which is very interesting to me, and I've. I've been doing some research on the past bit, which we've discussed previously actually just earlier about Selftalk, yes, and even your thoughts, how they can change what your reality, but they can actually take it like on a o, a like level with your Anadam. You can actually change things in your brain chemically by just what you're thinking and that's a big thing that I think a lot of people don't know. I believe that I Hondo percent believe that when you believe something- or you were just telling me that story that, but when you when you believe something are the things that you say that you subconsciously, don't realize that you're saying I heard about the somebody was saying: Well, the the e Sol purpose of our brain is to keep us alive, yesh right at that a really simple level. Yes, it's here to keep us a lot. So so, when you talk you're talking and saying things to Yourselv like Oh, like I hate this job, this job is killing me right, something that people say. Yes, they don't actually mean it like they're, not going to die from the job, but they're saying those things to themselves, so their brain starts to believe it ind. Your brain, like I said, is meant to keep you alive. So your brain goes. Oh this job's going to kill me so in the next two weeks, you're going to get sick, your brain makes you sick. So you can't go to work because it knows from the past that when you're sick, you can't go to work. So it's trying to protect you, so it's making these things. You don't even realize you're happening and I learned a I don't remember who was from specifically, but they were. They were like a master and kind of Selftalke a D, and they were saying that this is you know his been proven. So those things that you like you're, saying like just even even saying that you kyou know I like myself, Hay everybody. I hope you're enjoying the podcast. This far. I hope you're learning something I know I did, but I just quickly wanted to interrupt and let you know that this is indeed the first episode and we had a little bit of a technical difficulty, t the camera that we're using shut off and- and it happened to be connected to the microphones that we're using, which is a mistake I will not make again. But so, if you're watching the PODCAST, there will be no more video for the remainer of the chat and, if you're, just listening as want to, let you know the audio will be a little bit different and I hope that's not too much of a bother. But I don't think it's a big deal because you know main focus of this is the content, the information, so I just wanted to quickly hop in and say that and yeah. Let's finish it off truth about, it is psychle. The mining make some of the body say. So if we're thinking about something, that's negative and that's draging us down, like o mention hat the jaw, I hate my jow well, the subconscious mind accepts that and it records hate. My job hate my job pigme. So then the body starts responding to this, because the brain sends that message down and the body responds accordingly and and yeah you wake up one morning I don't feel well, I I don't. I just don't feel well, it's interesting, I remember being with an individual one time that he was talking about how you could actually influence another individual. If you came into the office- and you said to an individual, do you not whot to want today and if that person whis not confident they may say have well, I didn't sleep all that well last night, now the tellinges of that now they're telling themselves now they started believing yeah. Well, I did wake up a few times and I had this Sai Yeah. Well, I wondered because I just came in and just you know it looks like you're, not you're, not yourself Grert, which is not a very good thing to do to somebody you know, but this chap was saying he was. He had taken some courses in mind, control, that's a whole! That's another area, differe yeah, but so we start to believe in our subconsciouse and then the sulbconscious feeds back to us for this information and it's constantly plaing Messiti reality exactly that's interesting. I've never thought about that specifically, but I definitely had that happen with somebody is saying. Oh, like Oh, you look tire. You look whatever and then- and I didn't feel like that. No, I didn't think that I was no, but as soon as they said it idid right yeah because you start to believe it. So that's it's a definitely an important thing, especially with our sore talking about confidence e. Oh, exactly lots of that stuff is selftalk yeah and and in the big picture you're the only one that can change that right, Yeahsi UN, be a challenging thing to well. It's so true, and we look at self intoyuself self confidenceself concept. Well self image. Self esteem is how we look at ourselves t how we you know: how much do we like ourselves? Well, if we're struggling, we may not let ourselves very much. o Self concept is how much we believe in ourselves. So if we believe in ourselves strongly enough, then we could that's a foundation to build your success. So you've got selfesteem self image. Self concept fill lows up and do them by doing the affirmation of self affirmation. It's I it's good. I've done this. You take a self afformation like I like myself, I, like myself. I really like myself, I'm a good person, and you say that three or four time but record it and play it back and Hearin your own voice can increase these the influence of that by up two eighty inety to eighty five percent hearing it hearing the words can increase, it can give you a significant boost, and how often do you do that? How often well, of course, it's difficult. I remember taking one course in the chap at twenty one days, and we hear it, you hear it on podcast, you read it in books, twenty one days for the forse Havi to form the new habit right. They say well why? Twenty one days well, this one person said: If you take a chicken chicken will lay an egg and sit on their leg for twenty one days. The chicken's brain is about the size of a pea. The human brain is above the average adal is about three pounds. I don't know what that is in keygols yeah, but anyway about three pounds. FUT, you say: If a chicken with a brain that sizes can sit confidently on an egg and hatchet in twenty one days. Surely a human can do the same habit whatever it is? That's sitting on the agt and after twenty one days you will have developed this new pattern of performance pattern of activity, pattern of desire pattern of Hata's Ri, all APA. It's a pattern! Yeah, IT'S QUEAT! It's Great Astoundicg to me. You we've talked about some some ofe specific things, but people that are really having a hard time- and you said you said once you Wentto- that room with with the people that a be strangers that had support for a strangers, the beliefe IDN e there's a lot of everybody's got a different situation, but there's some people that can't put themselves in a situation. That's true! How do you? How do you get that that feeling of support? How do you find that support? If you can't, you know Ou know fortunate enough to either have it around you or to be able to go to a place like you're talking about what? What do you think you can do to get that support to start supporting yourself, knowing that others do believe? I think it's important to to do in a sense of self inventory and you write down what do you like about yourself and what do you dislike about yourself and it 'll be interesting to look at those two lists, lights and dislikes, and if you have hopefully you've got a friend or you've got somebody, and you ask them to right down what are the things that you like about me chances are? You will be surprised, because the very things that you dislike may be something that somebody likes right or they don't even see it. It is that your blindsight, that's your scetoma! That's crazy! Yeah! That's a that's a really good thing, because I think there's a lot of things that we just put into our like we're saying. Just put it o your own mind right, like Oh, like that fear that we ere just creating ourselves which which I guess checking Om with somebody Eh yeah can yeah here's one thing. I used to think that my wre, my organized work organization, was Onbok. AFTOR me I it was that big brother mentality right that I will be taken care of somebody. Well, as I got into my adul life, I realize that I don't see a lot of people out there taking care of me for the needs that are deep within me right. A lot of things are being taken care of lot people they like you. They trust you. They have a relationship with you nd so on, but there is no big brother coming along to save you from your own fearrs right and then I learned, but if it's to be it's up to me right, if it's to be it's up to me, if it's to be it's up to you for you what you want so from that I thought well, I must be responsible t an for my own. Well being my own self confidence right, my own, so I have to take charge. I Have Tay Owdership and get away from negative talking negative thoughts and get away from negative people, and this may some harsh, but sometimes you have to drop some of the people around you if they're quite negative, because that energy tends to influence and if you start buying into it, you get drawn in like a leaf going on the river shirt and there's a little itty on the side and leaf gets drawn in you're you're. In that current and you're going nower, that's right! WEL! You are the average of the people around. Certainly right. The specific quote that comes to mind is not saying you should necessarily have a circle, but but you're. If you look around you and aren't inspired around by the people in your circle, you don't have a cirl. You have a cage. That's right! That's so true! That's a good! It's a very it's a very, very good thing, because you don't think about it like that, the people, you know it's a big thing like you're saying it's, not the big Shist, I think for some people is realizing that you can't wait around for somebody else to do something for you and that's a geat shift, which I realized as well, that like yeah, you do spend lot of your time. Just waiting for you know something happen because somebody's going to be something about it yeah, but you got to take that. You know take that responsibility, but having people around you that have the same visions in the same roals and- and you know the same intentions for things that they want to work on. Maybe in you're in a situation like this, so you're not feeling super confident, but you've got and you've got. I guess it could be two things they could. You could be around people who all also are confident, but don't want to do anything about it or you could be around people that are confident want to do something and grow with you. So you can push each other or you can be around people who are y? U Know Very Oo and they're going to raise you up to that. Like I said, Douran AVIDYEA average ofther people round you, so if all the people know you are extremely confident and selfassured and things like that, but you're, not your spending some time with them, it's going to dramatically increase that is they're. So true yeah. It's so true is it's important. I think, on this journey of self improvement, because if you don't adopt a life, long learning kind of acceptance, what happens is we continue Alon doing what we've always done and eventually we die and probably missed out on many great opportunities and there's a saying, an old saying. I can't remember if it's Mark Twain or or with Hem James, who said that most people go to the grave with their music still in them sad thing, Wel, a real sad thing that is, and now that's of course, figuratively speaking Greg. I say you're a musician I have not, but but really it's important to get around positive people and, as you say, they will build. You up- and I remember a number of times- I've started groups and theyr m mastermind groups that comes out of the Napoleon Hills Book and he said, get a Master Mind Group, and these are people who are they have an interest in improving themselves, but they want to draw on the expertise of another person right. So you've got somebody with a musical background somebody who's, maybe in accounting somebody else who's in a different area, and it may be construction and whatnot, but all these people, if they're, creative and they're working on building up themselves, they can add something to help each one of us. So that's important to for sure it's not just one specific. I guess you can't Tay other things for one specific. Yes, I you're going toward a certain goal, but by just being open and broad number of people and ideas, Yo things can definitely help. You Change your mind. What's one before we kind of I think wrapp this up. What's one I sometong can take away one thing from this and they're and they're struggling and they want to improve their confidence even if you're not strung, but you just want to improve yourself confidence that WHA. What's the one thing that you would suggest and of all of this wat? What's the one big piece of e bus out of things that you've learned Thingo k? Where can you start? We have to start with ourselves and we must get on a road of success by believing that we were created good enough. We were created good enough, but somewhere Lon the way we've lost. Ourway we've lost our Wei, so we need to find the path back believe in yourself until we believe in ourselves, it's very difficult to get on that. Robe to success were struggling in the ruts right and, as they say, her runt was a grave with the emds kicked out. I yeah, so it's very important to believe in yourself anduntil. I started to really truly believe and trust that I had the ability to do something. Maybe I didn't have the skill yet, but I had the ability everybody has. The ability and everybody does and and for heaven's sake this is probably he best bit of advice- is to always have a positive mental attitude. The pme you can teach somebofys skills, which you can't teach some attitude I've seen in the workplace. I've seen it with myself and when I change my attitude, I changed my life yeah wats this the Elso that quote or the other the thing that you can. You can't teach somebody anything you can lik teach them to learn it from Wat Ei same thing like that sm coming out, ofto, like you can't you can't do somebody now to have atcertain type of ator Theyv di except make that decision Ers, you can't hold. Somebody else account ofe. The attitude is the goal nugget of success. There you go, I think so it's a simple as that for sure it's the Goald nit now do you want to dig for it right? You won't find it out there. You won't find it out there, but you will find it in here there you go wow. Well, I think that's e one point Wonrif hos steps O stop for today. I really appreciate having this normezation. I hope the people that do GIV isolism can can benefit from is shulds help me just learn, win and things. Well, I appreciate it's. It's a wonderful opportunity to to share and I learned from you to as o we're all in learning. That's it so adopt the attitude of lifelongborning and I'm seventy six years old and I hope to live for many years late yet, and I will be learning every single day that I have left on. Thossert hey, everybody thinks so much for making it this far and listening to this episode I's just like, I said before super exciting to me to be starting this journey with you and to be able to share some of these conversations that I'm getting to have and and maybe spark some discussion in your life and- and maybe you know, Ou got some things to think about now or things that you know. Maybe you want to look into a little more and that's really. What is is all about, and I- and I hope that you benefited from this as much as I did, and really that's what it's all about we're just talking about life and and growing together. So, like I said, I'm just I'm very grateful. Thank you for listening an there will be more soon and if you are interested, you can always check out more stuff that our website and hopefully we'll be back right away in the next week week. To I don't know something like that and with some more more stuff to talk about more talks about life. So, in the meantime, have have a great rest of your day, whatever you may be doing, and just RMEMBER to keep love ing life and Puch ut with Yo ut you're interested in more content like this go check out our website at don't settle officials, Jobca er, dedicated to providing resources, information and content design to assist you on your journey of personal growth and, most of all, to help you live life to the fullest. Thanks, so much for tuning an will chat. WE CAN ETIME